So, like, if you could just hear me out? :):) I really want to make sure I’m not being confusing 
Barf.
This is such a big challenge. I dislike this issue immensely. On one hand, I want emails to be extremely brief because a) I don’t want to waste anyone’s time (including mine), b) I prefer brevity because I think it’s SO much more clear. Here’s the problem. My experience is that the “threatening” version gets ignored, for what I assume is spite because I was “a bitch” or because of a “don’t you tell me what to do” thing. BUT … the “non-threatening version also gets ignored, i am guessing because the light-hearted pretty-please approach does not get taken seriously. this is very typical of the issues women face, where you can’t win either way. You’re bitchy or you’re too soft, you’re dressed like a prude or you’re a slut, you don’t smile enough or you smile too much.
From: https://thecooperreview.com/non-threatening-leadership-strategies-for-women/
I don’t use emoticons in professional emails, ever. And only rarely do I use exclamation points – when they are actually warranted, for emphasis, and not just at the end of a sentence.
I also prefer email (professionally) that is brief and clear. That said, since I express myself better in writing than speaking I sometimes use email to deal with difficult issues so that I can be sure that my thoughts are delivered clearly. That’s not always brief.
The thing with softening my tone to not seem threatening or superior, I’ve totally done that.