book 32 – They Left Us Everything
This started out as a promising book. It is Plum Johnson’s memoir about clearing out her family home and possessions after the death of her parents. I thought that her parents would be revealed as hoarders – full-on, reality-TV-style hoarders – and that the book would be a journey of self-discovery as she and her siblings faced the posthumous evidence of mental illness in their parents that I believe underlies hoarding behaviour. But it is not that at all. Her family is and was well-adjusted and supportive. There were no dramatic battles with her siblings over claims of ownership on the parents’ estate, and no financial conflicts resulting in siblings disowning each other and refusing to speak again. It was really nothing more than Plum and her brothers clearing out their childhood home.
It’s possible that I simply lack the sentiment needed to relate to Plum’s angst, because my parents moved out of our family home while I was at university and cleared out the house in the process, robbing me of the opportunity to live nostalgically for two years while I sorted through the minutiae of their belongings. I was, however, given the chance to help a close friend with this process after her parents were moved into care homes. In her case, the parents were, in fact, hoarders. Not in a reality-TV kind of way, but in a stuff-crap-in-every-crevasse-possible-and-leave-it-there-forever kind of way. Excavating the house was like one of those dehydrated cloth pucks, where you add water and the puck magically expands to 5 times its original size until it forms a T-shirt. Her parents’ house was a puck that expanded to several times its original capacity as you emptied closets and crawl spaces. There was real emotion in the exercise of dividing or selling the family belongings (much of which was humour mixed with astonishment), and it was time-consuming and exhausting. Would reading this book have helped my friend and her siblings through this process? No. I don’t think it would have made any difference at all. Possible it might have helped them feel like they weren’t alone, but I don’t think any of them ever felt that they were to begin with.
I do believe there are people who would love, and greatly benefit, from this book. But I am more practical than sentimental, and my preference would have been a more helpful guide on how to expect the unexpected and how to prepare in advance for what is likely to be a very challenging time for the siblings. I really liked the approach of giving each sibling a virtual “stipend” which they could then use to “purchase” their desired household items in turn. However, in order to do this effectively, they had to appraise the value of each and every item in the house. How did they do this? This would have been good information. They also seemed to have access to funds for things like renovations, painting, yardwork and not selling the house for a couple of years, a luxury that not all people would have. Finally, there was little to no conflict between the siblings during the whole process. And while I don’t wish conflict upon Plum and her family, the lack of any real struggle beyond separation anxiety did make the book feel self-indulgent to me.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I didn’t particularly like this book. I think people who are facing a similarly arduous task could have been better served, but then again, I’m not one to judge since I’ll never have to undertake it myself.
Rating: I say skip it. But that’s me.
